 |
|
Note from Marlene: Kayak trip with dog – successful! Please add coach@marlenelockwood.com to your whitelist or address book in your e-mail programs so you have no trouble receiving future issues! |
Connect With Me:
|
| August 10 , 2010
Vol. 2 Issue 11 |
|
 |
|
I’m going to do another paddle this weekend, and even if we do flip it – in this hot weather who cares! |
|
 |
|
Coming in September! Belong to a fantastic group. Stay tuned for more. Reserve the following date: Sept. 30, 2010 at 5 pm PST, 8 pm EST
|
|
 |
|
The Freedom of Acceptance Recently I was reminded about the freedom and peace acceptance can bring us. It came after quite a few The morning I got more clarity around this relationship, I was reading Oriah Mountain Dreamer’s book, The Invitation, the chapter on Sorrow. The chapter began with this verse:
The words touched me that morning in a way that stopped me flat. My thoughts went immediately to this relationship. I sat with the questions for a long time wondering how I was letting the sorrow from this relationship affect me. It had been a struggle for so long. As I reflected on my life I knew I had grown from past sorrows. I knew I had learned to love deeper and forgive quicker from relationships that had not worked. In fact, I felt good about how I had moved through challenging times of sorrow in the past. And yet, this time I couldn’t seem to find a place to “stand” within the relationship nor could I just let it go. I didn’t want to walk away from the relationship, but I couldn’t help but wonder if my efforts to fix it were only making things worse? How was I allowing the sorrow from this relationship to affect me? Not so well, I realized. I was wearing myself out trying to make things better, to be, or say or do something that could change the situation. Nothing I was doing had any lasting effect. I was having triangulating conversation with others; something I knew was not healthy. As I looked back over the past I realized the struggle to fix the relationship had created a life of its own – with no good end in sight. I was worn out and angry that everything I had tried to do had been unsuccessful. I knew I was close to walking away, and yet I didn’t think that was the right thing to do.
Could I accept this relationship just as it was? Could I drop trying to fix it and just accept it? Could I accept it with an open and loving heart? I realized my heart was beginning to close as I met failure after failure. I had to ask myself, was this what I wanted? No. In my meditation that morning, I honored the relationship for what it was. I gave up the struggle and the idea I could fix it. I accepted the freedom to be just who I was. I gave up wanting the other to be different. I made the choice of acceptance. I immediately began to experience a sense of peace and freedom that had been eluding me. I felt a heavy weight lift off my shoulders. I found myself feeling love and acceptance, and with it, my heart remained opened. Nothing had changed - with one big exception,
This experience taught me some rich truths.
Do you have a relationship that is not working, one you feel is too important to walk away from? It could be a sibling or friend so important to the family constellation that you’ve not been able to turn away. Or maybe it is a mother or father whose love or acceptance you have yearned for, but for whatever reason they have not been able to give you. It could be a mate that hasn’t been able to meet your longed for needs and desires and you feel frustrated and scared of what the next steps might be. Perhaps it is a son or daughter struggling with drugs that nothing you have done – and you have tried everything - has made a difference. As you think about it, you realize that nothing you have done has resolved the pain and dysfunction in this difficult relationship. Take a minute to imagine . . . how acceptance of the situation could make a difference in your life. Consider how it might shift the frustration and pain you feel. Taste the freedom that comes with acceptance. Feel the struggle ending. Try it right now. Just for a moment do as I did, let go of how you want it to be, just see your wants float away. Visualize them dissolving in mid air. Let the person be just who they are at this point in time. Trust them to a power greater then yourself. Feel the struggle end. Feel the freedom to be just who you are. Experience the joy of acceptance, the peace of unconditional love. The miracle is that when we unconditionally love and accept others it increases the love we have for ourselves. As we learn to love ourselves more we make better decisions. We open our hearts to new ways of being and new ways to live that are filled with peace and joy. Acceptance gives us a freedom we can’t attain in any other way. And, our acceptance of others creates the opportunity for them to walk their own path more freely. The challenging thing about the lesson of acceptance is that we soon realize that it is a continuing choice. At any moment in time we move into acceptance only by choice. So when the relationship you are committed to is not working the way you would like it to, and you feel the hurt, the frustration and the anger begin to rise – make the conscious choice to move back into acceptance. Then take a moment to appreciate freedom and peace acceptance brings you. GOING DEEPER Meditation - Acceptance I have written this meditation for you to do alone. You can change the words in whatever way helps you connect with a power greater than yourself. Find a place where you can sit comfortably with your feet touching the ground and where you will not be disturbed for approximately 15 minutes. Take three clearing breaths – inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Feel your belling rise with each inhalation allowing your breath to fill your lungs. As you exhale, feel your body relaxing and sinking into itself allowing the tension and tiredness to effortlessly float away. Feel the firmness of your chair and the ground that is holding you. Feel the rhythm of your breath. On each exhalation feel your breath descend down through your body, through your legs, down through your feet and out into Mother Earth. Feel yourself connecting to the strength of the earth. With your next couple of breaths sense yourself pulling up from the depths of the earth strength, power and vigor. Shift your vision to the top of your head and visualize a white streaming light descending from the heavens. With each breath see this light filling every cell of your body filling you with love, compassion and understanding. Just breathe into it. Now connect with the situation or person with whom you feel frustration, pain, anger and/or discouragement. As you breathe out feel each irritation float away, and with each breath feel the pain and anger float out of your body and disappear into the sky. Let it all go, your judgment, your disappointment in others, in yourself. Let it all go. With each inhalation feel your soul being filled with love and acceptance for just the way things are – no less or no more than just how it is right now. Know you are being filled with unconditional love for the situation and the person. The love is there, the acceptance is there. Let it fill you heart. Relax into the peace of acceptance. For a few more moments just enjoy this state – however it is for you, right now. Just let it be. In a few moments, when you are ready, come back to the present knowing that you can come back to this place of acceptance and unconditional love anytime you want. It is always there. Give thanks. |
|
 |
|
Recently I broke two metatarsals (bones top of foot) in my left foot. Nothing too serious - just had to be off my foot to escape some of the pain and to allow my foot to heal. The beauty of it all was I had more time to read! Having recently received a reading recommendation for Stieg Larsson’s book, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo; I down loaded it onto my Kindly and quickly was absorbed in this intriguing and well written novel. This is one of those books you just can’t put down. In fact, over the next three weeks (of resting my foot) I read all three books by Stieg Larsson – including the other two, The Girl Who Played with Fire, and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest. Read them chronologically – you’ll be captivated by the drama, intrigue and romance. I recommend them to anyone who enjoys a great mystery and who just wants to get lost in a really good story. |
|
 |
|
Last weekend I went on a fun ˝ day’s kayak paddle down the Sacramento River with good friends Tim and Diane. I have wanted to get my dog, Teddy, in my kayak for over two years, and guess what, I did it last week – successfully. He is an unusually shy dog and takes a while to warm up to people, so being able to lay down right in front of me in the boat was perfect. He was totally comfortable and relaxed. Of course the bottom of the kayak was nice and cool as well.
years of trying to make an important relationship in my life work and finally choosing to accept it for just what it was and letting go of the need to change it.