Note from Marlene: This is how I’m getting in the spirit of the holidays. What are you doing?
Featured Article: Improve your holidays by taking this quiz; learn 5 keys to practice
Training & Events: Expand your joy & inner peace this holiday season – don't miss!
Marlene Recommends: Three great books – all very different.
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I’m getting in the spirit of the holidays – slow but sure. Are you? It helped me to get in the holiday mood when my neighbor brought me persimmons. I just had to make them into cookies. One of my favorite childhood memories is my Aunt Minnie’s persimmon cookies. Persimmons ripen about this time of year and for me always signaled the holidays. I’ve included the recipe below if you want to give it a try. In addition my lights are up outside – and that always inspires me. What do you do to get in the holiday spirit? Please share.

1. Springboard Conversations - Don’t miss my interview with Mary Allen, America’s Inner Peace Coach – Wed. Dec. 8th 5pm PST. She’s giving us great tips and tools on how to expand our joy and inner peace during the holidays.
   
   Wednesday December 8, 2010 5pm PST – Register here. http://bit.ly/eXotvv
   
   
2. Coming in February: Telesummit - Loving Life after Loss: For women who have experienced loss and want to reclaim their lives with power, purpose and joy. This will be an opportunity to hear from 10 dynamic and profoundly wise women who will share their passion for life, their wisdom on how you can move through the sadness of loss, rebuild your life and make the second half – the best half of your lives.
   
   
3. GUIDEBOOKS - NOW AVAILABLE: Read a sample here http://www.marlenelockwood.com/booksarticles.html
   
   My three (3) guidebooks for woman reclaiming their lives after loss are now available
   1. From Grief to Joy: The Path of Transition. Learn to move more powerfully through the sadness of loss.
   2. If You Can See It You Can Do It: Living the Power of Vision. Clarify and connect with your passion. Create a vision of the future
   3. Living Your Life Design: Choice not Chance. Put your vision into action. Embrace your new life.

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How Well Do You Stay in the Present?

How well do you stay in the present? I can’t think of a better time of year than the holidays to keep our minds in the present. When we have experienced loss, the holidays can be especially tough. It is easy for our mind to drift back to what was and then take us on a mind trip that often leads to sadness and depression.

The great spiritual teacher Thich Nhat Hanh said mindfulness is to be present in the present moment. Take the following quiz to discover how much, and in what ways you detach from the present moment.

T/F  1. I have a tendency to live in the future, projecting into tomorrow, or next week or even years from now.
T/F  2. I spend much of my time thinking about the past, replaying conversations or reliving incidents or events, or I play “what if” in my mind.
T/F  3. Sometimes when I’m in conversation with someone, I can’t remember what was just said.
T/F  4. When eating a meal, I often watch TV or videos or reads.
T/F  5. In talking with someone, I think of how I’m going to respond rather than listening to what the other person is saying.
T/F  6. I tend to worry.
T/F  7. I try to figure out how things will work out or what someone else will do.
T/F  8. I allow the telephone or pager to interrupt whatever I’m doing.
T/F  9. I often/frequently hope for something better or different.
T/F  10. I often/frequently dread something worse will happen.
T/F  11. I find myself always busy, with never an empty or spare moment.
T/F  12. When I am feeling uncomfortable in a situation, I change the subject or get up and move around, or get something to eat/drink/smoke/do.
T/F  13. My mind often drifts back to memories of the past and I find it’s hard to move forward.
T/F  14. I find it difficult to maintain eye contact when I’m talking with someone.
T/F  15. Sometimes I can’t remember what I just read or I don’t know what just took place in the movie or video I’m watching.
T/F  16. I find I spend time thinking about how I wish my life was rather than how it is right now.
T/F  17. I take my cell phone everywhere and it’s always on.
T/F  18. My conversations with others tend to be about superficial subjects.
T/F  19. Rather than staying with my emotions and naming them (“I am feeling…”), I attempt to alter the feelings.
T/F  20. In my family or with my partner, we watch TV programs that we don’t really care about rather than interact with each other.

So, how did you do? Most of us find that we can benefit by practicing ways of staying in the present. It’s the best way to live your life full out.

Here are 5 keys to staying present.

1. Engage the senses. (What do you see, hear, feel, smell, taste, right now?)
2. Feeling gratitude and appreciation. (Try a gratitude journal.)
3. Connect to the body and self. (Have a massage)
4. Connect to something OUTSIDE yourself. (Find a way to give back.)
5. Embrace reality. (Trust that your are strong enough)

I did a lot of reading this last month. I’m sharing input on three of my most impressionable reads – all very different books.

Extraordinary, Ordinary, by Condoleezza Rice – This book not only reminded me of America’s shameful segregated past, but Ms. Rice speaks with power and clarity about the importance of taking responsibility for our own lives, and our experience of it. My admiration for black Americans increased 10 fold as I read the stories of how, regardless of the circumstances, they created strong communities, fostered excellence for their children, and contributed to the America they loved.

Growing Up Laughing, by Marlo Thomas – I love a good belly laugh. “Women like silent men. They think they’re listening.” “Mrs. Cohen’s doctor called her and said, “Mrs. Cohen, your check came back.” Mrs. Cohen answered, “So did my arthritis?” Well, you get the point. You’ll read about the lives of the greatest comics past and present. A fun read. Don’t hurt yourself laughing.

Half the Sky, by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl Wudunn – This is a powerful, powerful book. Many of the stories are horrific, but as it says on the front page, “Urgent. . . Passionate . . . Compelling.” And you are not left wondering how you can help. The authors give us many safe and affordable ways for us to make a difference. 
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Persimmon Cookies
The HACHIYA variety has a very sweet pulp. You can freeze them to ripen them. Once they thaw they are ready to use.
Ingredients

• 2 ripe persimmons, pureed
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 egg
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1 cup raisins
• 1 cup chopped walnuts

Directions

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (180 degrees C).
• Dissolve baking soda in persimmon pulp and set aside.
• Sift flour, spices and salt together, set aside.
• Cream together butter or margarine and sugar until fluffy, beat in egg and persimmon. Stir in dry ingredients. Stir in nuts and raisins.
• Drop by teaspoonfuls onto greased cookie sheet. Bake for 15 minutes.

These are moist and have a wonderful flavor of spice. You can freeze persimmon pulp to use later if you grow your own and have an excess. These are great fall cookies

Grief & Loss During the Holidays: 3 tips that won't fail