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Featured Article: Lifestyle: Choice – Not chance Please add coach@marlenelockwood.com to your whitelist or address book in your e-mail programs so you have no trouble receiving future issues! |
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A big thank you to all of you who took the survey. Learning more about how others handle loss supports my coaching with women experiencing the loss of a love, one of the most difficult losses. So I’m grateful for your input. My new guidebooks for women rebuilding their lives after loss will be on my website soon, hopefully by the end of May. I am very pleased with how they have turned out . . . sensitive, stories of success, humor and wisdom. Watch for the announcement. Next week I am taking one of my favorite road trips. Traveling to visit my daughter in Humboldt county, town of McKinnleyville. It’s a magical place for me. I can’t help but marvel at the sheer beauty of 2500 year old redwoods – who were around when the Romans ruled. It does put things in perspective! We spend a lot of time walking on the beach with our dogs, visiting with her great friends, seeing a good movie, and eating the best sushi at the Sushi Spot on 9th street in Arcata. |
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Two exciting upcoming conversations are being scheduled for May and June on “Understanding Clinical Hypnotherapy and How It Can Help You,” and “How to Find and KEEP Inner Peace”. Stay tuned. |
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Lifestyle: Choice, Not Chance "What do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Suppose a stranger stopped you on the street and asked you the question above posed by psychologist and poet Mary Oliver. How many of us would say that we would spend our life exactly as we just spent our day? Your answer could be anything: doing work you love, caring for and giving love to your family, contributing to your community or the world, creating art, building a business, climbing mountains, making music. Anything. The key is that how you lived today is how you would choose to live tomorrow and the next day and the next.
There have been times when that’s how I would have answered. How about you? One of our greatest challenges we face is living a happy, healthy, peaceful life – one that is more balanced, less stressed and more fulfilled – while juggling the demands of daily life. According to Jinny Ditzler, author of Your Best Year Yet, what drives most of us is the ambition to improve the quality of our lives while being true to ourselves and what’s really important to us. She writes that, “Although we may not be conscious of these basic motivations as we live day to day, these hidden drives are the strongest in our lives. The more conscious we are of them, the more we can empower ourselves to make the necessary changes in our lives.” Values are personal principles or standards — those qualities that are most important to us. A life based on values rather than reacting to others’ needs and wants or the acquisition of material things enables us to live in integrity with ourselves. This is how to create a rich and fulfilling life. Identifying your values can be as simple as asking yourself how you want to be remembered by others. As a person who cares about others? As someone who makes a difference in the world, who keeps promises, who is authentic, honest and trustworthy? Think of the qualities you most admire in others; these may be the values you claim for yourself. Once you become aware of your values, you can begin to restructure your life. With your values as your touchstone, you can create and live the life you really want, achieve your goals and realize your dreams. Within the boundaries of your values: BECOME CRYSTAL CLEAR ON WHAT YOU REALLY WANT. Be specific; vague and undefined goals are difficult if not impossible to achieve. Take time to examine your goals in different areas of your life: in work, money, health, spiritual, family and relationships, for instance. COMMIT TO GIVE WHAT IT TAKES. Saying “yes” to one thing means saying “no” to another. Acknowledge and accept what you must give up to get what you want. RECOMMIT TO YOUR GOALS DAILY. Begin your day by reminding yourself what your priorities are. This is your “wild and precious life.” How do you want it to look? Be mindful as you go through your day that you are making choices. DO SOMETHIING EVERY DAY. No matter how small, take some action toward achieving your goals. Remind yourself that a book is written word by word, a marathon run step by step. An old Chinese proverb goes: “If we don’t change our direction we are likely to end up where we are going.” If you’re caught up in a lifestyle that’s not the one that you would choose, choose again.
Relationship loss is one of the most difficult transitions we make; but it always opens up new possibilities. I am dedicated to working with you to discover new gifts life is waiting to offer you. You will find new energy, courage and hope. |
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The Five Things We Cannot Change . . . and the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them by David Richo: “From ancient times, the five givens have puzzled and chagrined humanity.” David Richo tells us surprising secrets to finding freedom and fulfillment. The 5 givens we know. They are the givens of human existence. Why then do we create such misery by resisting? Richo shows us how to open up to our lives – including to what is frightening, painful, or disappointing – and discover our greatest gifts! |
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For some, the life they live day to day is not the life they would describe if they were asked Mary Oliver’s question. Instead, they might use phrases such as: “As soon as. . .” or “I’d like to. . .” or “I used to dream. . .” while explaining a daily life tangled up in too many demands and never enough time or energy to get to the things that matter most.
As a life coach, I work with women rebuilding their lives after loss. I help you understand your feelings and to navigate your way through the pain of loss. I will support you in making peace with the past and in realizing a new, abundant way of living.